Unworthy

I look at myself in the mirror
My face is the one of a monster
In the attire of a pretty princess
As if I was worthy of this dress

My ugly person doesn't deserve this
So I rip through the fabric, crying
This dress, this idea, I already miss
In pain I run to my knife and start cutting

I look at myself in the mirror
My legs show my inner monster
My naked body is too fat for me
As if I was worthy of eating well

My weight needs to go down like this
So I fast all week and puke if I eat
This comfort, the taste I already miss
In pain I run to my knife, time to breathe

I look at myself in the mirror
My body is somehow uglier
Nothing can hide the trembling
As if I was worthy of sleeping

I stop fighting my anxious insomnia
So I stay awake crying and screaming
I don't complain, it must be karma
In pain I run to my knife, more cutting

I look at the mirror, right through
I can't see my reflection, or anything
I must be dead, can I start anew?
Alas I am not, I'm alive in hell, burning